Sunday, October 3, 2010

October is a scream-free month.


Hi,

My name is Chana and is a Screamaholic. Had I been a member of the frequent yelling club, earning a mile for every time I yell, I would not have to pay for a plane ticket to LA. Or possibly Israel. Or maybe even Mars. And back. So yeah, I yell. I am also not proud of it, and I feel guilty about it. A lot.

This year before Rosh Hashana, when going through a my usual list in Shimon Apisdorf's Survival Guide to Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, the answer to "What would you regret the most if left undone this year?" came immediately, with no close runner-ups in sight. I would deeply regret if I continued communicating with kids the way I do now. I made a commitment to dedicate this year to yelling less. Actually, eliminating it entirely.

I think it's a very serious and multi-faceted project. It's not just stopping the act of yelling itself, which would be awesome, don't get me wrong. It's also addressing the why's of yelling: after all, there are reasons - or if you prefer excuses - why I yell. Some are related to kids and their behavior, some are my personal, some completely in my control and some are beyond it with everything in between. I had come to conclusion that the entire way I parent needs to be reassessed. Actually, the entire way I function needs revamping. It's not only my parenting, I and my life, need some serious analysis and changes.

I think I am up for it. At the very least I owe it to myself and my kids to try. I am starting small - avoiding yelling. For one month. As much as I can. Care to join?

Picture courtesy of Google Images.

2 comments:

  1. limiting yelling is very worthwhile cause. my 'new year's resolution' is to pay more attention to kids and try my best not to do things that a fun for me while they are not asleep. It takes a lot of energy out of me to have a conversation with a 5 year old, not to mention play a game. I would rather be on Facebook.

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  2. Esther, this was actually one of mine as well. I try to avoid computer at all before they are asleep. I find the more attention I give them, the less problems I have with discipline. I think this will make it to a post regarding coping techniques. Thanks for the comment!

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